Hi friends! Today I want to share something with you that I’ve been meaning to share from the beginning of this blog… Rather late than never, right?
In the past 6 years, I’ve gotten lots of questions regarding the “shiny thing” on my left ring finger. I guarantee you, every person that has noticed my ring and have asked about it, always asks “are you married?” Nope…….. Someday though 😉 When I tell them I’m not married, (they usually give me a confused look) and ask me “what it’s for then?”And to be honest folks, there was a time when I was little embarrassed to say “oh, it’s a promise ring.” I don’t know why I was embarrassed… High school hormones or something… I’m past that now 🙂 (actually there was a time in middle school where I convinced a boy I WAS married, and he totally believed me. That was fun.) Of course now I love telling curious people about it. We often don’t realize that the little things about us catch other’s attention– and can sometimes change their perspective. There’s a cool story behind every little thing…. So here’s mine:
We have a Thompson family tradition that my dad started with my older sisters and I. There is a special day, when a Thompson girl turns 13 years old, that dad takes her out and gives her a special ring– what we call a “promise ring.” I love how my dad made it special for each of us in a different way, and how mine was a fancy dinner out on the town. To be honest, I don’t remember what he said to me, or what I said when he gave me the ring… I just remember having a nice dinner and some quality time with my amazing dad.
When it comes to the reason behind my promise ring– let me tell you, this is not something I learned or was told on the same day I got it. These are things I’ve learned over the past six years— from wise counsel, reading, or my own experience. Here’s the short version of what this promise ring means to me: that I promise to respect my father’s wisdom in regards to my purity + future relationships until the right man comes along to replace the ring with another ring– and a covenant of marriage– all the while seeking my heavenly Father’s purpose for me as well. It could also be put as me answering to my father here on earth, who consequently answers to my Father in heaven. But either way– we both answer to God. I answer to God in my decisions to respect my dad, and in my dad answers to God in how he raises me to be a godly young woman. Does this mean that I’m a sheltered little girl who has to ask my dad’s permission for every little thing? Ah, noooo… This doesn’t mean I’m a wallflower waiting for my prince in shining armor to “save me” either– I am a warrior for the Lord serving His kingdom, being patiently-active, while waiting for my future spouse.
Another side to the “promise ring” is what most people assume (and assume correctly): chastity. But to be honest, I hate that word. I don’t want people to think this ring is a “prison sentence” or “chastity belt” that I am subjected to out of force! This is choice I have made, to save myself for one man in a marriage covenant, as the Bible tells us, like in 1 Corinthians chapter 7:
“But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.”
Does this mean that because I’m not married yet, I am pure and unblemished? Hahaha– NOPE. I used to be addicted to pornography. I had impure thoughts. Alllllll the time. It sucked. And to me, even though it was not consensual sex with another person, it was with myself. And to me, that was breaking God’s commandment of sexual purity. God had to break down some major walls and excuses I had put up for me to fully surrender to Him. I hope my story of addiction and sin is a testimony that can helps others– but that is a whole other story for another time ;).
Sooooo… Moral of the story? This ring is a symbol of respect, agreement, chastity, purity, and waiting. I’m sure there is lots more that can be said about it, but that’s all I have. Yes, I am a virgin, but I am not pure. I am not all put-together. I am broken, but redeemed. I have fallen short of the glory, but I am saved by amazing grace. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3
I think promise rings are awesome. And if you want one (or already have one) that is great! Just be reminded that it is a symbol of purity and waiting– but it doesn’t magically make you pure or patient. As for me? I am serving the Kindgom of God. When the right dude comes along, and when my dad(s) say “ok,” then sweeeeet. We’ll serve God together. It’ll be awesome.
Hope you liked my little story about my little ring. Have anymore questions? Send me a line 🙂